Song From The Schoolbus In S. Korea, ~c1974




The "Highway" Song

Going down the highway, 2 and 84,
John blew a fart, and knocked me out the door.
The wheels couldn't take it, the engine fell apart,
All because of John's supersonic fart!


The "-tion" Song

(sung to traditional French tune, Alluette)
Amputation, jolly amputation
Amputation, a game we like to play
First you get a kitchen knife
Then you cut your fingers off
Fingers hurt, blood squirts
Ha, ha, ha, ha...

Suffocation, jolly suffocation
Suffocation, a game we like to play
First you get a plastic bag
Then you put it on your head
Go to bed, wake up dead
Ha, ha, ha, ha...

Suffocation, jolly suffocation
Suffocation, do it every day
First you take the garden hose
then you cram it up your nose
Turn it on
then you're gone
Wheeeeeeeeeee!

Suffocation, jolly suffocation
Suffocation, do it every day
First you take a paper cup
then you stick it up your butt
Rip it apart
blow it apart
Wheeeeeeee!

(There was another verse or two that I'm blanking on... constipation?)

The Ants Go Marching Song

The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching one by one, the little one stops to suck his thumb
And they all go marching up, and down, and around too three four
One two three four..

The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah
And so on - the little one stops in each case as follows:

Two: .. tie his shoe
Three: ..climb a tree
Four: ..shut the door
Five: ..learn to drive (or climb a bee hive, w/ suitable startled tone)
Six: ..pick up sticks
Seven: ..go to heaven (which you'd think would end the song, but no)
Eight:..shut the gate
Nine: ..go and dine
Ten: (start over again)


"Great Green Gobs" Song

(a version I remember...)
Great green gobs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts,
mutilated monkey meat,
chopped up parakeet,
French-fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood,
and I forgot my spoon!
(in an another voice:) ...but they had straws...

(variations on the monkey...)
simulated monkey muck,
marinated monkey meat,
seventy-day-old monkey muck,
masticated monkey meat,

(...and the bird... )
chopped up baby parakeet,
insulated pigs' feet,
dirty little birdie's feet,
amputated birdie butts,
concentrated birdies' feet,
dried up inchworms in a stew,
snail shells enough for two, (with above)
dirty little pigeon's feet,
itsy bitsy birdie feet,
dainty little piggies feet,
bloody little birdie feet,
even little birdies feet,
buttered baby birdie butts,
little dirty piggy feet,
rotten turtles by the heap,

(...and the cooking... )
French-fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood,
French-fried eyeballs toasted in a pool of blood,
put 'em in a pot to stew with various cold cuts, (with "butts" above)
eight whole cans of all purpose porpoise pus,
anchovies sitting in a pile of grease,
all mixed up with a pile of poison possum pus,
all mixed up with violated vulture vomit,
French-fried eyeballs slidin' down the toilet seat,
French-fried eyeballs soaked in gasoline,
French-fried eye balls rolling down a dirty street,
all wrapped up in all purpose porpoise pus,
pounds and pound of pukey, purple porpoise puss,
French-fried eyeballs sitting in a pile of worms,
all fried up with crusty chunks of pelican poop,

(...and the utensil... )
Oops, I forgot my spoon!
And me without a spoon!
And you forgot the spoon...
I don't have a spoon!
Gee, I forgot my spoon!
Eat it, without a spoon - it's just delicious! (- these three together)
Eat it without a spoon - it's so nutricious!
Eat it without a spoon - yum!
Eat 'em without a spoon.
Here we are in line for our daily meal.

(...and more.)
It's almost noon!
...but I've got a straw...
...better pick straws...
...but I brought my straw...


"Jingle Bells" Song

Jingle Bells,
Batman Smells,
Robin laid an egg,
Batmobile
lost its wheel
and Joker got away -- Hey!


"On Top Of Old Smokey" Song

On top of old Smokey
All covered with cheese
I lost my two meat balls
when somebody sneezed.

They rolled off the table
And onto the floor
I lost my two meatballs
When they rolled out the door.

(a continuation that I somewhat remember...)

They rolled down the steps (boom bang bing crash!)
And into the street (crash!)
They rolled in the gutter (smash!)
They weren't fit to eat.

They rolled in the garden
And under a bush
And soon my two meatballs
Were nothing but moosh.

The moosh was quite tasty
Tasty as can be
And soon my two meatballs
Grew into a tree.

The tree was spaghetti
All covered with cheese
And hanging from each branch
Were meatball leaves.

So if you like spaghetti
All covered with cheese
Hold onto your meatballs
And try not to sneeze!


"Popeye" Song

(I only remember us doing the first two lines, but surely we did more if I could remember exactly which combination it was. Possibly it's in one of these variations - the gas/ass version rings a bell.)

I'm Popeye the sailor man! (toot toot)
I live in a garbage can! (toot toot)
I eat all the worms,
and spit out the germs,
I'm Popeye the sailor man! (toot toot)
I'm Popeye the sailor man! (toot toot)
I live in a frying pan! (toot toot)
I turn up the heat,
and burn up my feet,
I'm Popeye the sailor man! (toot toot)
I'm Popeye the sailor man! (toot toot)
I'm Popeye the sailor man! (toot toot)
I like to go swimmin',
with bow-legged women,
and swim between their legs! (toot toot)

I'm Popeye the sailor man! (toot toot)
I live in a garbage can! (toot toot)
I turned on the heater,
and burned off my weiner,
I'm Popeye the sailor man! (toot toot)

I'm Popeye the sailor man! (toot toot)
I live in a garbage can! (toot toot)
I turned on the gas,
and blew up my ass,
I'm Popeye The sailor man! (toot toot)

I'm Popeye the sailor man! (toot toot)
I live in a garbage can! (toot toot)
I always go swimmin',
with ten naked wimmin,
I'm Popeye the sailor man! (toot toot)


"Gee, Mom, I Wanna Go Home" Song

They say that in the Army,
The girls are mighty fine.
You ask for Betty Grable, (this sufficiently dates the roots of the tune!)
They give you Frankenstein.

(Refrain, repeat between each verse)
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life.
Gee mom, I wanna go home.

The biscuits in the Army,
They say are mighty fine.
One rolled off the table,
And killed a pal of mine.

They say that in the Army,
The coffee's mighty fine.
It looks like muddy water,
And tastes like turpentine (iodine).

The say that in the Army,
The pay is mighty fine.
They give you fifty dollars,
And take back forty-nine.

Oh the chaplains in the Army,
Have a collar on their necks.
If you don't listen to them,
You'll all wind up in heck.

We're the surgeons in the Army,
We say we're mighty bright.
We work on soldiers by day,
And nurses through the night.

Us corporals in the Army,
You say we're really green.
But if it weren't for us guys,
You'd be in the latrine.

Oh some guys like the Army,
I think that it's a mess.
If it's so damn terrific,
How come I wear a dress?

Friendships in the Army,
They say are mighty rare.
So I spend all my free time...
Carousing with my mare.

The girls at the service club,
They say are mighty fine.
Most are over eighty,
And the rest are under nine.

(Final refrain)
...Gee, mom, I wanna go.
But they won't let me go.
Gee, mom, I wanna go home.


"John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" Song

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
his name is my name, too.
Whenever we go out,
the people always shout,
there goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!

tra la la la la la la la.


(I remember there was a big billy goat gruff song, and even kum-ba-ya, but the words escape me for now regarding the goat lyrics. Here's a try (using Rebecca's phonetics and my punctuation):
Kuma lada,
kuma lada,
kuma lada vista,
ah, nana, nana a vista.

Exco meely,
walla meely,
ooh wala wala meely,
ah, nana, nana na vista.

Big! Billy! Goat! Gruff!
*something*
*something*

[...one of these days it'll come back])


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